Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Of course, urban/rural hubris makes for better reading…

You know, the chick-lit about the prada wearing latte sipping urbanite
who decamps to a damp mould sprunkled hovel in the country, expecting
agas and dog roses and free range eggs from fluffy hens - and gets
instead toads and outdoor plumbing and a shop which only sells parmesan
ready grated in cardboard tubs and an industrial pig unit moving onto
the land next door.

The deep contented sigh of this happy rural slum dweller, toasting her
dirty toes while necking rum isn't all that entertaining… but the life
is perfect.

Now if I could only get the toads to wipe their little feet when they
come in from the rain.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Guilty secret

I'm not sure anyone really understands just how luxuriously indulgent living in a tower on the edge of the wildwood actually is.

I mean - curling up in the sun warm heather with a book and an orange and sleeping the afternoon away?

Walking by starlight in ancient oak woods, while a Tawny owl hunts overhead, all the while knowing that there is a fire, a bottle of rum, a lime and a kettle of hot water waiting at the end of the pull uphill? (Not to mention a teeny-tiny little saucepan of venison stew on the mantelpiece, poised to hop down and nestle itself between two blazing logs.

Or Sunday morning, curled in a big wooden chair, wool blanket wrapped around the shoulders, toes propped on the fender, a pot of coffee on the hearth (ok, not so great coffee, but still hot and black), two fat rashers of bacon and a piece of bread toasting on the log, and a really absorbing brick of biography of Hogarth to sink into…

All dinner and no responsibility.

It's a hobbit's life, I swear. Except that the toes on the fender aren’t as furry as those of some other members of the family.

Don't tell anyone else how much fun I am having up here!


Sunday, October 18, 2009

damnation

If it takes an hour in the morning to build a fire, heat a kettle and
make a pot of coffee, you really do want it to be *good* coffee, not
peely-waaly stuff.
Should've ground some new on Friday, instead of packing a scoop from the
tin on the fridge.
And I've finished the all the rum!
At 5pm I walked down to the hamlet to pick up a duvet - I'd forgotten to
collect one when I loaded the landrover at lunchtime, and I didn't fancy
facing the first frost of the year without it.

The sun was still above the horizon when I started, and the woodland was
still, with patches of gold/green between the long shadows. Almost
nothing was moving, even the sheep were content to let me pass through
them, and I saw no birds excepts the raptors, kestrels and kites above
me, crows below in the valley floor.

By the time I emerged, with the duvet on my back the sun was gone, and
the valley was in shadow, although light still lingered on the fell top
to the North, where the cottage was waiting, about 30 minutes walk away.

I'd thrown a large log on the fire when I left the cottage an hour
earlier, and hooked the kettle against the bars, so as to have a mug
full very near boiling when I got home.

As I passed the small holding behind the hamlet, a little party of geese
were forming a conga line around their water trough, wandering wither
and thither in a patient waddle, quite unlike the mild curiosity of wild
geese at dusk. They didn't even look up as I passed.

It's amazing how much you can see in the dark. The colours have gone,
but the form survives, in close-up, in shades of grey. I just couldn't
see more than 10 feet ahead - except where, in the distance, the
landscape rolls away in places towards the river, and the last last from
the west made a bank glow a ghostly silver some way ahead. An owl
swoops past my head, westward.

I do always carry a headlight at night - with a red light setting, so
that if I have to use it my night vision won't be too badly affected.
But I didn't need it. I must know every step of the route by now, even
if it is eighteen months since I last walked it past nightfall. And I
have a mobile phone, so if I did roll an ankle...

Anyway, I didn't need the light on the railway track (although in place
the cutting is deep and almost all in shade. And I didn't need it on
the footbridge over the cutting towards the hay meadow.

That's where I stopped to check which stars are out. There were one or
two - but a sense of the billions points of sun waiting just beyond the
veil of atmosphere, thinning to nothing, second by second.

Now that is a lot more terrifying than being the only human being in the
sheep's line of sight - being the only apparent human being on a patch
of rock in sight of all the suns.

I only needed the light once; after crossing the oak wood and the Roman
ruins the paths (carved out by sheep) divide and dip down to a small
stream, which is bordered here and there by wire. Hit in the wrong
place, or at the wrong angle, and you get wet, or stuck, or both.

But after that, it's a short walk up and through two pastures to the the
clump of pines which hides the cottage from almost every angle. Not even
fire light spills out - until I open the door - because from this angle
the cottage has no windows...

When I've made the tea I sit on the bench by the door, watch stars and
listen to the thump thump of falling leaves, and the rustle of small
unseen animals.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The cottage as bright and clean as the sky.

Genuinely welcoming and comfortable for the first time in more than a
year. Something large got into the back room - something large and
slimy! - but I can close that door, and forget the room until the
building work is complete.

Northumberland is in its most gorgeous outfit - "bonny" as the guy who
picked me up at the station said. Tunnels of gold and red oak crowding
over the sun-lit road, a blue sky full of crows and kestrels. But cold
- it will freeze tonight!

My toad-love is sealed when a find a toadlet - smaller than the first
joint of my littlest finger - on the door step. It glares at me a
wiggles away with adolescent energy.

Door open, into the hall - and I discover that Crocs are not quite as
destructible as I'd believed - there is a little pile of bright yellow
chewed Croc resin, as much as a mouse could produce if it worked very
hard - next to one, the right I think. I hope it was tasty, as I doubt
it was nutritious!

But oh crap - I've remembered the rum, but not the duvet. I'll have to
trail back down the hill to collect if - if it can even been found after
10 months in storage!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Shopping list for weekend

Socks
Whisky
Matches
Bread
Cheese
Coffee (the last batch grew mould!)
Bacon
Green stuff and oranges - to prevent scurvy!
Sleeping in the Stone Caravan tomorrow, and the weather just turned a
tad chilly. I know I've slept up there in cold weather before (hell,
I've slept with ice forming on the walls around me), but that was when
the cottage was well aired, and when I had been well seasoned by living
up there all the way through the autumn.

I'll be packing thermals and whiskey, just in case.

Of course I will also be taking the new netbook, and a sack full of
battery. So when I'm not scrubbing the kitchen floor (sharp sand, to
clean off generations worth of mud and mould) I'll be writing....

I just discovered "write-or-die" by Dr Wicked
http://lab.drwicked.com/writeordie.html

Fabulous - gets me typing every time. Just try out those eeeevil sounds
on the normal mode.
And he's working on an off-line version, which will be even sweeter!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Working hard to finish the Ethiopian script, it just seems to crawl along. 

I'm also transcribing a stage script which I put together 10 years ago  (Oh crap, 10 years?  I am soooooo old!) - which exists only as a photocopy of the Stage Managers notes, some scribbled diagrams and a handful of excellent photographs.

My Lead Actor was single but dating at the first read through - by the last night he was pregnant and engaged.  I bumped into Mrs Lead Actor a few months ago, and the strapping pre-teen who was conceived one night after rehearsals.  So old!  So very very old!

Making a stage play is so much quicker than writing a film - you just need a room, some people with excellent memories for movement and language, and lots and lots and lots of gaffer tape.  You can do it in a weekend.

I wonder if carrying gaffer tape will speed up the writing?

 

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The wind has shifted to the South East...

... bringing London a sudden shocking lungful of cold, bright, blue,
briny air.

Best day of the year so far - I have to get out of the office and down
to the river bank.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Snoozles

Ever since I got back from the coast I have been sleeping right through, eight hours a night.  Blissful.

Must be a side effect of all that swimming. 
In the sea. 
In September

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Bought the Solarventi unit for the cottage, and I am just waiting for delivery

I got the smaller unit in the end - it's the core of the cottage that
gets most damp, and the 20 m2 unit should be enough to deal with that.
Anything The race now will be to get it fitted before it gets too damp
up there.

Northumberland is the officially the coldest county in England, but it
does average 1350 hours of sunlight a year, and that is 1350 hours of
dry (warm(ish) air being drawn into the stone caravan. And some of
those hours occur in the winter. Honest.

Weekend notes

I walked for four hours through the near deserted Sunday morning City of London (that's the bit which lies within the Roman Walls and is now full of bankers…)  I was one of the London Walks, which are always good value for money (£7.00 for a first rate running two hour commentary on the buildings passed and their history).

Then I walked a while longer, through St Paul's and down Fleets street, and had tea with a friend in the Courtauld Gallery in Somerset House - there is a basement courtyard there, embedded in the classic stone work, like something Piranesi might have designed as a catering outlet.  And lovely fresh scones with home made plum jam and sweet disorganised service.

Got notes on the screenplay between bits of scone and clotted cream.

Legs ache now!

This morning I reopened the files on the screenplay, ready to write the next draft…

Dun-dun-dun…..

 

Thursday, October 01, 2009

At the sea-side...

Saw an GINORMOUS jellyfish washed up on the sand.  On the Pembroke coast.

 Seriously, the umbrella bit (pale blue, with a gorgeous royal blue scalloped edge) was at least 70cms across, the frilly dangly things pink on one side, blue on the other.

 At the first mention of the word JELLYFISH the two year old  niece (the one that wants to be a Girl Pirate) swarmed straight up onto my shoulders, and refused to set toe to sand for a good 20 minutes afterwards.  I swear she has prehensile feet, or suckers of some sort - you can't detach her once settled.

 As she pronounces it JELLYFIIIIIIIIIISHESSSSS, with a long hiss, it was disturbingly like being assaulted by Gollum in an all-in-one floral bathing suit.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A-musing

It's fun having a muse.

I found one the other day - rather in the same way I found the toad; it just popped up and looked me in the eye.

By a muse, I mean someone (a living individual or a personification) who inspires confidence in an artist's own ability.

Dante had Beatrice, Petrach had Laura, Givenchy had Hepburn, Sappho had...  anyone know if Sappho's adored was ever named?

Mine seems to be a 20 something hipster, with great taste in shoes… 

I'm trying to make a list of other muses, so I can try to pin down the essential features of the beast.

Any ideas?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I have worked out why the bastard ironing board broke...

.... roomie off the hook this time.

Still need to buy a new one though!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

How the $@*^% do I manage to find the ironing board broken - twice!

Twice. In four months. Two boards, identical damage. Twice.
And not cheap ones, either. Two £35 ironing boards.

Two people live here. One buys ironing boards and then 4 months later
has to throw then away.

(I tried repairing the latest - but I really don't fancy taking a risk
that the board will collapse while I'm working on it. Those irons are
*hot*.)

So - what the hell do I do now?
Go to work crumpled until I can buy another one - and then keep that one
locked away in my own room.

The Ironic thing - I HATE ironing. Hate. Hate. HATE.
I just hate being crumpled at work just a teeny-tad more than ironing them.

RAGE.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Weird and nasty things, writers

- but only if you confuse the work with the creator.

 I catch myself doing this from time to time myself - confusing fiction with the writer's own conscious thoughts and desires.

For example I woke up in the middle of the night last week seriously freaked out by something a certain young writer/performer I know had written on a flyer for a gig he was playing.  It was silly and scatological and shocking, which was the whole point - It really isn't likely that it reflects his social self, even if it does titillate and/or gross out his imagination. 

And as soon as I had woken up enough to brew up a pot of coffee I knew that.  What a relief.

It's like me and my tattoo thing.  Quite independently three of the pieces I've written - including two I have been paid for - have featured protagonists who acquire tattoos as part of their journey. 

 Now, clearly I must be interested in the tattoos, in their visual impact, the way the record moments in time, the way their permanence contrasts with the impermanence of the of the human body.  But that doesn't mean I have - or mean to get - a tattoo myself. 

In short - what we write may come from our unconscious desires, but should never be confused with what we are or want.

Anyway - here is a snippet from one of those tattoo stories:

 +++++++++++++++

"I wrote to you, every day.  I had such stories to tell – about the sea of ice at the cape, and the lightening strike, and the albatross that followed us for 17 days, and exactly why the Otahitians made the Barber’s pigtail into a belt for their king, and what the stars look like in New Holland, and why, when everyone else was deciding whether to go in the boat with the Captain or stay on the ship, why George and I stayed behind.  About George.  I think I wanted to tell you about my friend George.  And about how scared I’ve been all this time. 

"There was one afternoon, when I was lying in the house we shared on Otahiti, face down in the leaves, and my Tayo –Tayo means Friend, Godfather – My Tayo was tattooing the feathers on my shoulder.  The needles felt like fire.  Going in and out, hammer, hammer, hammer without rest, and I was not going cry out. George held my hand, and the needles burned away, driving the soot into the skin.  I didn't cry out, but somehow tears kept running down, and into the leaves until I could taste the salt - and suddenly I thought – “At last, now, something is changing me.  All those maps and letters and journals and drawings I made – now they are making me.  It will all be on me, in me, for ever."   

"No one will listen to this now.  My Uncle Pasley and Mr. Const do not wish to hear of it.  They tell me I must never speak of why, and how, and what I was thinking or feeling.  They tell me I’ve to be discreet, mute, or else they’ll not have the power to save me. Because I stayed behind on the ship, and now I’m the only officer they have, and they cannot but hang me for all the rest.  I’m sure they’ll hang me. 

"The letters I wrote to you, the dictionary, the maps - they all floated away in the wreck. I couldn't hold them.

"The Barber could not break the chain we sank, and he drowned  there in the cage.

"George swam with me, but a staved plank struck him.  I turned, and he was gone. 

"We swam on, through a slick of paper and wood and bread, two hours, to reach a tiny strip of sand and coral. 

"And when we got to the cay, pickled in salt water, and naked under the sun, like lobsters on a fire, our skin came off in strips, great handfuls of it.  Hanging off our backs and snagging on the coral, leaving little scraps behind, with ships, and names and dates and feathers still black on them."


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The swallows have gone, leaving mounds of feathers and poo - and another little corpse, trapped between the panes of glass.  This time I can't get the cadaver out by pushing or pulling, so it will have to "shrink" a little first. The maggots will help....

 
The curious thing is - I never feel sick in the cottage.  It's dark, damp, dusty and full of wildlife - and in January well below freezing for a large proportion of the day.

 
But I have never had a stomach upset, or a sniffle, or a headache or a cough while I was there.

 
But as soon as I leave for the rest of the world -  The germs just pounce.

 

 

 

Saturday, September 12, 2009

September has to be the best month in Northumberland

I'm sitting outside the cottage in warm - almost over warm - sunshine,
cooled just enough by a silvery breeze that smells of grass and honey
(honey? No, no idea why, but it's gorgeous). The sky is enamel blue,
with the faintest curlicue of cloud high away in the south. Everything
that should be green is still green - but with the sense that the
fireworks of red and gold and brown are just waiting, breathless for
ignition.

And it is dry. The pasture is firm, the garden is barely boggy, the
cottage is sound and clean (and dark and cool and owl free).

No decision on the solar panel yet - because it has been pointed out
that it might be subject to a development grant.

I confess - I'd rather spend the money now, and keep the cottage
dry(ish) over the winter, than wait 3-4 months and get half the cost back.

But I might apply for a better loo.